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Hello Bigbrother! This is your egbon speaking. Please come to the diary room for questioning.’</div>
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‘Huh? This is my what? Who the hell is my egbon? I am Bigbrother and nobody summons me to any diary room.’</div>
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‘Shut your mouth Bigbrother and listen very carefully. I am your egbon. That means I am your bigger brother and you have to <span class="IL_AD" id="IL_AD1">show</span> me some respect. And If I want you in the diary room, you go there without a grumble. And listen Bigbrother, you better take your hands off your pocket and wipe that fake baritone off your voice when talking to your egbon. Olori buruku omo ti o ni respect. Are you still standing there? You have less than a minute to put on a shirt and present yourself for questioning in the diary room.’</div>
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‘Please sit down Bigbrother, you are now in egbon’s diary room and in the course of this session, no argument will be tolerated. You are only allowed to speak when answering a question. And you are only permitted to answer my questions with “Yes egbon” or “No egbon.” Have I made myself very clear Bigbrother?’</div>
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‘Yes egbon.’</div>
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‘Very good, now my first question, Bigbrother, are you aware that your ratings have dropped tremendously?’</div>
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‘Yes egbon.’</div>
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‘And do you have any contingency plan to salvage this situation?’</div>
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‘No egbon.’</div>
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‘Why don’t you have a contingency plan? Isn’t that what any intelligent person would do?’</div>
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‘Yes egbon but nobody would have thought my ratings would crash at any point considering my platform.’</div>
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Moving on Bigbrother, tell me, was it part of your initial plan for people to be subjected to those troubling scenes which are corrupting the morals of their children?’</div>
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‘Ehmm yes egbon, that was actually the plan. That is why it is called a reality TV show.’</div>
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‘So you are saying that the smoking of marijuana and drinking alcohol are also part of this reality?’</div>
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‘Egbon, these house mates are no kids and some of them are chain smokers and drunkards outside TV. So, why make them pretend on TV? Moreover, making money is the objective and you and I know that immorality sells faster than anything on TV.’</div>
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‘Bigbrother, I want you to be very honest with your answer to the next question.’</div>
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‘Ok egbon trust me.’</div>
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‘I was told you have two daughters, can you lock any or both of them in the same house with strangers from other countries for months and allow them have random s*x and <span class="IL_AD" id="IL_AD2">shower</span> n*ked under camera surveillance with the whole world watching?’</div>
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‘Egbon sincerely I won’t.’</div>
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‘Why won’t you? But you told me in clear terms that the main objective of your show is to promote mutual coexistence between Africans from various countries.’</div>
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‘Egbon my children are schooling and they are not cut out for things like this.’</div>
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‘Oh, you mean other people’s children are good to coexist but yours can’t ehn Bigbrother?’</div>
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‘Egbon, my daughters are very fragile and they get bruised easily. But are you accusing me of taking advantage of the contestants or the public? I never forced anybody to <span class="IL_AD" id="IL_AD9">subscribe</span> to my show. Also the contestants knew what they were getting into from the outset. Nobody forced them to participate. And egbon, how come nobody talks about my $300,000 that the winner takes home every season? How come nobody talks about the fact that I am turning these guys into celebrities? Most of them were on the streets and I gave them opportunities. People should stop this undeserved criticism.’</div>
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‘But are you aware that people are referring to what you have here as a modern day concentration <span class="IL_AD" id="IL_AD4">camp</span>?’ ‘Egbon, I have never heard that term before.’</div>
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‘Yes of course you haven’t. But you must have heard that most religious leaders are clamouring for your outright ban?’</div>
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‘Egbon, don’t make me laugh, I can assure you that those ones are the addicted viewers of the shower hour. Egbon, abeg leave the religious leaders, I don’t have time for their hypocrisy.’</div>
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‘Ok, Bigbrother, tell me the first thing that went through your mind when you heard your show was banned by the Malawian government.’</div>
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‘Egbon sincerely I just laughed at the jokers and knew such ban won’t last and like I predicted, it didn’t.’</div>
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‘So who was responsible for the lifting of the ban?’</div>
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‘Egbon I am Bigbrother but you of all people should know that I have bigger brothers.’</div>
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‘Yes I am one of your bigger brothers and I was sent here by others because we are all losing patience with the drop of income. And before I leave here Bigbrother, let me inform you that the other financiers including myself would love to know your plans to increase your ratings.’</div>
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‘Egbon, there is no need to worry. Just tell them they will start making a lot of more money very soon.’</div>
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‘Bigbrother please cut the crap and give us something tangible. What exactly do you have in mind?’</div>
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‘Egbon I am introducing other side attractions like lap <span class="IL_AD" id="IL_AD6">dancing</span> and stripping from next season. It will be tagged “Bigbrother the Erotica.” I know a lot of people will call for my head at first but trust me egbon, like shower hour, it will be another hit and income from sms will pour in like water from a broken dam.’</div>
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‘That would be fantastic Bigbrother. But don’t you consider that kids are watching?’</div>
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‘Egbon that’s why we have PG regulations and this <span class="IL_AD" id="IL_AD10">new</span> additions can only be viewed by special subscribers.’</div>
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‘Bigbrother I can assure you that these additions will most definitely bring about your end. You will be butchered from left, right and centre.’</div>
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Georgia Serif'; font-size: x-small;">‘Forget that tin, egbon. Like 2baba would say, nothing dey happen.’</span><br />
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'Bigbrother!' - Another interesting Article From Etcetera

Hello Bigbrother! This is your egbon speaking. Please come to the diary room for questioning.’ ‘Huh? This is my what? Who the hell ...

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If you're a celeb...and you bleach your skin...erm, this is for you! 
Hehe. But I feel what anyone wants to do with their body is their 
business...but read Etcetera's article below and tell us what you 
think...<br />
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The Association of Bleaching Celebrities 
of Nigeria wishes to use this medium to inform the public that the 
inexcusable attitude of some of its members to their fans has been 
brought to its attention. </div>
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It has also been said that some members of 
this esteemed organisation have embarrassingly refused to shake hands 
with their fans and in some of these cases, the aggrieved fans are said 
to have been little kids. On behalf of all celebrity bleachers, we the 
ABNC kindly ask for your forgiveness. <a href="https://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=6589160015449763735" name="more"></a></div>
<a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" name="more"></a></blockquote>
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You loved us when we were black 
and we sincerely ask you not to love us any less even now that we are 
light skinned. We also want you guys to understand that we celebrities 
bleach our skin so that we can lighten up your screens so you will never
 have to increase the brightness and contrast of your TV anymore. You 
can <a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" name="more"></a>ask our Nigerian movie producers why they prefer us light skinned 
actors. That being said, we also want to sound a note of warning to all 
celebrity bleachers. According to section 19 of our annually reviewed 
constitution, no bleacher operating within our ranks has any right 
whatsoever to disrespect his or her fans. Such unruly attitude should 
stop henceforth. Anyone culpable of this dastardly act will be severely 
dealt with according to what is stated in our constitution. We want to 
also use this medium to pass this vital information to the rest of the 
public and it will be in the interest of everyone to read the following 
very carefully.</div>
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The ABNC is the 
umbrella body of all celebrity bleachers and we are responsible for 
every bleaching celebrity you see on TV and on the streets. We will also
 like you to understand that no celebrity bleacher will intentionally 
snub or refuse to shake hands with his or her fans. A lot of these 
incidents have occurred as a result of stigmatisation of bleachers by 
the public. Nigerian celebrity bleachers especially have been unfairly 
criticised by the public for having black knuckles, white body and black
 yansh. Therefore, the unwillingness of celebrity bleachers to shake 
hands in public should be regarded as a silent protest over the bizarre 
treatment accorded bleachers in this country. They are humans and they 
deserve the rights to decide their skin or vein colours. Be it black, 
blue, red or rainbow, it is their choice and the public must accept and 
respect it. After all, if you are a very observant fan, you would have 
noticed that all light-skinned male celebrities always wear suits or 
long sleeve shirts and walk with their hands in their pockets. Walking 
with your hands in your pockets is prescribed by this distinguished 
organisation to all bleachers. In cases of bleaching gone wry, please 
note that celebrity bleachers don’t do all these because they want to be
 seen as fashionably sensitive or too cool to care. They do it to avoid 
that embarrassing moment when you discover that your pretty face 
celebrity has the hands of a local tye and dye merchant.</div>
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We
 hope that henceforth, whenever you see a light skinned celebrity with 
pocketed hands, you will save yourself the embarrassment and kindly let 
him be. A celebrity bleacher with bad bleaching experience is like a dog
 with rabies and no sane person messes with a rabies-infected dog. We 
implore you non-bleachers to be more sensitive to the plights of 
bleachers. To you male fans who love greeting women with a kiss on their
 cheeks, please be advised to keep your damn kisses to yourself whenever
 you see those light-skinned celebs who love tying scarves around their 
necks. It is not fair to expose someone’s multi-coloured neckline to the
 whole world because you want to prove that you can greet like an arab. 
And if you are a church usher who is fond of telling people to raise 
their hands up during worship, better stay the hell away from any 
light-skinned celebrity you see in church. Allow them to worship with 
their hands glued to their sides. We swear, you don’t want to see that 
armpit. Our sincere appreciation also goes to all men out there dating a
 celebrity bleacher, we commend your patience. You have stood by them 
knowing you can’t take them to the pool because of their black yansh. 
And when they forced you to take them against your will to the pool, you
 still had to endure the fact that they got into the swimming pool fully
 dressed in their leggings, T-shirts and stockings. May you be rewarded 
handsomely for your stoicism and perseverance. One quick advice though, 
inasmuch as you may love your bleached spouse and want to treat her to 
different types of adventure, it is paramount that you resist every 
pressure to take her to the beach.</div>
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Please
 listen to us very carefully; you have to protect her from bleachers 
allergies. They react to sea water like an ogbanje reacts to 
deliverance. And if you don’t want to be staring at your bleached spouse
 rolling and crying in agony on the beach sand, don’t let the sea water 
come in contact with her skin.</div>
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Nigerians,
 please stop judging us by the colour of our skin. We will never be 
ashamed to admit to the public that all light-skinned celebrities are 
bleachers because this same bleaching has made us the most preferred in 
Nollywood today. It has made our ladies more desirable and more 
noticeable by Nigerian men. It has also helped some of our colleagues 
who were straight up ugly become attractive. That is why our motto is, 
Show me a light-skinned celebrity who doesn’t bleach and I will show you
 a local dog that doesn’t eat shit.</div>
</div>

Etcetera comes for celebs who bleach their skin in new article

If you're a celeb...and you bleach your skin...erm, this is for you! Hehe. But I feel what anyone wants to do with their b...

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'Bigbrother!' - Another interesting Article From Etcetera

Etcetera comes for celebs who bleach their skin in new article

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