Our female
celebrities should admit that they are horrible at choosing their men.
And as a celebrity, destroying your man publicly makes you look stupid
because you are the one who chose to be with him in the first place.
Most of you
ladies want a perfect man because you have a natural need to want to fix
something about him. And when it fails, of course, it becomes his fault
for being who he always was.
Even if the
guy you married was the most disgusting pig in the whole universe, you
should admit that lowering your standards so severely was your choice.
Every divorce is built on those things that were created during
courtship. It is during this time that the future of a marriage is
decided. If you don’t have the ability to analyse what was injected into
your brain during those few critical years or months of courtship, then
whatever happens in your marriage is your funeral, not ours.
Must all
celebrities publicly play the blame game at the end of their marriages,
assigning blames like football fans after a bad match day? Must they
turn their divorces into a bride versus groom contest with their fans
taking sides? Trust the Nigerian press and bloggers who are ever too
quick to join the accusation bandwagon to exonerate their preferred
spouse without proper investigation. I wonder why Naija Bet hasn’t
thought of adding a slot on their platform for forecasting the longevity
of celebrity marriages in Nigeria.
It is much
easier to predict how long a Nigerian celebrity marriage will last these
days than the scoreline of a Chelsea FC versus Arsenal FC match. When
you get right down to the root of most celebrity divorces, you will
discover it all boils down to one simple conclusion to which most
females adhere: their men are always at fault. The guilt and punishment
are simply assigned to whoever happens to have the p*nis. Haven’t you
all redefined coincidence, with all your husbands accused of domestic
violence? Where are the pictorial evidences to back up your accusations?
Have all Nigerian men all of a sudden become monsters? Most female
celebs now seem to be focused on exposing their husbands or catching
them red-handed? Not knowing that the more they take that route, the
more convinced they become that their husbands are really cheating. The
language of most journalists and bloggers (infidelity experts) out there
centres on one theme: “catch, prove and di+vorce”. Yes your husband
erred, but why let the world know? Does his trial at the public court
make you feel good? Do you feel any more righteous by making him the
villain and you the good guy?
Stop acting
like your secrets are finally out; everyone knows that your partner
didn’t just start having an affair. It is the obvious truth that most
celebrity marriages are built on ad*ltery, and whatever adultery joins
together, adultery shall put asunder. Your emotions wouldn’t be in
turmoil today if you had listened to your gut feelings yesterday. But my
dear, before you decide to take the road of divorce to wherever it may
lead, you must first consider the real cost of going that route.
This is
because If you choose to get a divorce without knowing the real reason
your husband cheated on you in the first place, you’d just be circling
around the same problem instead of fixing it and preventing it from
happening in the future. Put your emotions aside for a moment and ask
yourself, why on earth would your husband fall into the arms of another
woman when he has a caring, compassionate and loving woman at home? Ask
yourself where you went wrong. Maybe the reason you had a cheating
husband was because he had a set of needs that you were unable to
fulfill because of your gallivanting lifestyle as a celebrity.
The blame
often starts within the walls of your mind and results in you holding
him responsible for the collapse of the marriage. At this point, nothing
he says could ever provide an adequate answer, but you just keep asking
the same questions over and over again. People should also know that in
most celebrity divorces, not all blames come from within. Some of the
most painful and damaging blames come from people outside the marriage,
who feel they need to pass judgments. To the press and bloggers having a
swell time with every celebrity divorce, I hope you know that it’s very
easy to lay blames when you’re on the sidelines. You are acting like a
spectator at a football match with a bird’s-eye view of all the action,
while those playing on the field get consumed by the waves of emotions
that accompany their divorce.
To our
female celebrities, whenever you find yourself wanting to lay those
blames, please relax for a moment and think about the appropriateness of
the blames. Think about the consequences of your accusations. Try to
examine the situation from multiple viewpoints. And to you husbands who
are being blamed, especially after you have cheated or been mistaken to
have cheated, please understand that your women are lashing out because
of their fears and insecurities. And as a man, there is a great level of
maturity in accepting responsibility for your behaviour and taking the
blame for your actions. Divorce is a winless game that is best not
played. In Onyeka Onwenu’s voice, may there be peace in our homes. Amen.
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